So I haven’t updated this blog in a long time. I love the idea of keeping in touch with anyone in the entire world and building a great place to go for easy recipes, but my life is very different from the average bloggers. I’m up a little after 5 AM, I have a 3 hour commute each weekday to Beverly Hills and I’m trying and often failing to fit time in to exercise, play music, write and also just plain have fun with my family and friends. And as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have the time to set-up, take and post the amazing photos that so many other food bloggers do although I certainly envy their talents and the time they must have available. I sound like I’m complaining , but far from it. You see, time matters to me. Now, more than ever.
Because, another reason I haven’t posted here lately, is that my husband went in for a regular eye exam, only to be told that he had eye cancer. Yes, the man who painted my toenails by candlelight, who has a large albeit sometimes hidden heart of gold and is the reason my boys open even car doors for women has something that has never affected anyone in his family. The fear was paralyzing at first – but then, we marched through it like soldiers probably have to do when they go to war – suddenly seeing the cracks in our fragile lives – staying as strong and as hopeful as humanly possible because after all, we are just that – only human.
Long story short, like an unwilling yet lucky Russian Roulette player, we may have dodged the bullet because after months of treatment and tests including a genetic test, the type of cancer he has in his eye has less than a 5% chance of spreading. If the genetic test had came back otherwise, that 95% chance would have meant not if, but when the cancer would have spread to his liver, brain or other organs and if that occurred, per the medical websites (that turn all of us into medical researchers who think we can self-diagnose), there (would have been) “no known treatment”. Three words I’m so relieved we most likely will never need to deal with.
So, now, how do we feel? Picture the Russian Roulette scene in Deer Hunter – only this time Christopher Walken doesn’t take the gun up to his head one last time towards a tragic end – but instead, he smiles, suddenly remembers how lucky he is to have Robert DeNiro’s character as a close, lifelong friend, and they both walk out from the dark dungeon into the bright, bustling streets to live life as they had planned all along – playfully, gratefully and joyfully to feel the sun’s rays on their faces, the damp cool sand between their toes, embracing the smell of cheap perfume and pine trees and the sound of their children’s laughter when they tease and joke and the funny whimpers of their furry little dog when it’s time to go for a walk, etc….etc….etc….Then, decades later, they both die a natural death together in their sleep. Yes, that is how we feel! That, and hungry at least three times a day. So, what’s for dinner? Other than the amazing array of dishes delivered from friends during the ordeal? Maybe just some good wine, cheese, God’s unprocessed fruits, olives and nuts – with good friends and family. Because right now, at least today, I am so happy we are all simply alive and don’t feel like cooking.